You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
