oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
