We're like a lot better than the average bears
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
