His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize
