I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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