You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
