And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
