hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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