Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
