where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
