My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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