Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
