Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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