i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
