Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
