Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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