Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
