i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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