Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
