Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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