And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
