I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
