You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
