i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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