Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
