we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
