State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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