I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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