D3 body, D1 cock
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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