Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
