come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
