Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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