If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
