I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
