I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
