I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
