Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
