Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
bring money and cleavage
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
