He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
