I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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