Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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