guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
