I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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