Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
