I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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