matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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