I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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