I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just pee around me
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
