i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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