Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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