He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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