WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
