I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
